Nutty Seafoam Frosting

Beat 2 egg whites until stiff, add 1 c. brown sugar and beat until well blended. Spread on cake batter, sprinkle with 1/2 c. chopped nuts. Bake.

found in my grandma's 1943 joy of cooking

I happened on this recipe card this morning when looking for a recipe for blondies and it fascinated me because it’s basically a meringue put on top of raw cake batter and then baked with the cake. It was stuck in between pages with yellow cake recipes and that’s my favorite cake.

I love seeing my grandma’s handwriting.  I miss getting a letters from her.  When she was alive she mailed a letter to me every 2-4 weeks.  We sent letters back and forth to each other for 20 years.

Look at this!

I’m not the person in our family who usually has insomnia – that’s my wife.  But for the past few weeks I’ve been awake in the wee hours of the morning.  I wake up with the task of my dream still at hand.

One early morning I was dreaming that I was trying to clean ants out of our house (those hardworking persistent non-native San Francisco ants that we haven’t had in our house in years, but I still fear their return) and I woke up and went to look for a sponge to use to wipe/clean them up.

This morning it was 4:10am when I woke up convinced that I was holding a mouse I had just found and I needed to find a box for it.  I could feel the tiny scared animal’s heart beating in my fingers and I could see the nest of paper bits it had made in a corner of the room. I put my glasses on and realized there was no mouse.  I’d seen a tiny mouse on our patio a few days ago.  Now it’s in my dream house.

Since it was just after 4am and we try to all get up around 7am on weekday mornings I decided to stay awake and get things done.  I started to make lunch for Lucy’s school lunchbox but I was pacing around and being too noisy.  I decided to sit. in. one. place. and look over our 2008 Christmas card address spreadsheet and make updates for 2009.  I was anticipating updating addresses of friends who have moved and adding addresses for some new friends.

Then I saw a line in the spreadsheet with my grandma’s name and address.  I was casually organizing the list and thought, “she’s not around anymore, so remove the row,” and then I just fell apart dripping big huge tears all over the cat and the laptop keyboard.

Since she died in March I have grieved her loss the most when I think of calling her or sending her a letter or visiting her or telling her about something.  When Lucy’s official Kindergarten portrait was delivered, I wanted to send one to my grandma because I knew she would love it.  When Lucy announced that she wants to be a “bug scientist” when she grows up, I wanted to tell my grandma because she loved to encourage women to be scientists.  When I have an interesting project at work I like to write to my grandma about it because I know she likes to hear about it.

She was my “look at this!” go-to person who would almost always respond with love and support and attention. I always wanted to show her things or share things with her and I always wanted to impress her.

I have a file drawer full of photos from her collection and I’ve been scanning them and hope to create and print a book of her photos for my siblings and parents. One of my favorites was probably taken while she was at Wesleyan in the late 1920′s or early 1930′s – such dashing women:

Harriet, Queenie, Evelyn, Margaret, Frances - early 1930's or late 1920's

After the Great Recession

My grandma was a chemist and also a high school math teacher

My grandma spent most of her working life as a teacher, usually teaching high school math, but she didn’t enjoy teaching.  She felt it was the only job she could get despite her education (multiple degrees) and experience in the early 1930′s.  I heard many stories about how little she was paid compared with her male colleagues who had less education and experience than her.  After she finished grad school she couldn’t find a job except as a teacher.  When she worked as a teacher she didn’t make enough money to afford her own housing and had to live at home with her parents.  The school district was paid money from the state for the schools and wages for teachers were based on their numbers of degrees, amount of education, and years of experience.  The school district got more money for my grandma because she made multiple college degrees.  They discriminated against her.  They took most of the pay intended for her and, because she was a woman, gave most of her pay to her male colleagues.  Her dad (my great-grandfather) fought back.  He got on the school board in their town in Georgia to get equal pay for his daughter and partially succeeded.  For fighting for his daughter’s equal pay, my great-grandfather is my hero.

When she moved from Georgia to San Francisco in the 1930′s she got a job as a chemist, one of her academic loves along with math, and lived on Russian Hill and worked at 5th/Market.  She used to tell me stories of spice factories south of market, and, reminding me of the quote that Mark Twain never said, of wearing a fur coat in the cold summer, and using her government gas rations to take drives out of the city during the war.  She never liked cold weather.  She eventually lived in Modesto for much of her life where the weather better suited her.

She went back to teaching in Modesto and retired from teaching in the early 1980′s.  While going through a large pile of photos and documents of hers I found her “Life Diploma” and Secondary Credential which represent, to me, her effort to do her absolute best given the circumstances and time she had to live in. Still, in Modesto, as a teacher, she told me stories of how she was paid less then her male colleagues who had equal or less experience and education.

CA Board of Education Life Diploma 1963

CA Board of Education Secondary Credential 1966

CA Board of Education Secondary Credential 1966

My grandma and me, Easter 1977

I read David Leonhardt’s interview with Obama in the April 28, 2009 NY Times magazine and was immediately reminded of my late grandma (Harriet Rasaka) when I read Obama’s answer to the question, “Would you also encourage men to become more comfortable working in fields that they traditionally have not? I mean, nursing is a very well-paying field. There’s a shortage there.”

THE PRESIDENT: I mean, nursing, teaching are all areas where we need more men. I’ve always said if we can get more men in the classroom, particularly in inner cities where a lot of young people don’t have fathers, that could be of enormous benefit.

Now, as you and I both know, in a lot of those fields they have been underpaid because they were predominantly women’s fields. And so part of what we have to do is to recognize that women are just as likely to be the primary bread earner, if not more likely, than men are today. As a consequence, eliminating the pay gap between men and women, and the pay gap between fields, becomes critically important. And we’ve already taken action, for example, with the Lilly Ledbetter bill (6) to try to move in that direction.

I think that if you start seeing nursing pay better and teaching pay better, and some of these other professions, you’re going to see more men in those fields, although there’s a little bit of a chicken and an egg — if you start getting more men in those fields, then the stereotypes about this being a woman’s field and all the gender stereotypes that arise out of thinking that somehow they’re not the primary breadwinner, those stereotypes start being whittled away.