Thanks much to Rachel Wolf for creating this lovely tribute to Harvey Milk with the students, teachers, staff, and community of Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy! The nonprofit Friends of Harvey Milk solely exists to raise money for the school and currently has a goal of raising $80,000 for Harvey’s 80th birthday (which is tomorrow, May 22). Help us out and donate $8 or $80 or $800 or $8,000?
This morning 5 1/2 year old Lucy told me about a kid in her class who told her last week that a woman can’t marry a woman. Just as she did in preschool and daycare, she said that she told her friend that’s not true because her mommy and momma are married and she was at their wedding and that she knows marriage is between two adults, a woman and a woman, or a woman and a man, or a man and a man. She said that her friend told her that her parents’ marriage is not legal, and, this morning, she said, “I know you’re married, and it is legal, right?”
I simply said yes, your parents are legally married. Otherwise, I would’ve answered her with all of the complications that involve lack of equal rights for our family. Sure, it’s legal here in California, a handful of other states, and a short list of countries. No, it’s not legal according to our country’s federal government, a long list of other states, and a long list of other countries.
The first time, that I know of, that she ever responded to the question of why she doesn’t have a dad, or the challenge of “a woman can’t marry a woman,” was when she was a toddler in daycare and one of her friends asked her why she doesn’t have a dad. She was barely 2 years old, if that, and she told her friend “I have a mommy, momma, and wanda, and you have a mommy, daddy, and dog, and you are missing a momma and a wanda and I am missing a daddy and a dog, so everyone’s missing something.”
Sometime last fall or winter, when Moya and I were in Lucy’s classroom, one of her classmates asked us if we were sisters or cousins. We said, no, we’re married to each other, we aren’t sisters or cousins. The kid responded with surprise, “no way! Two women can get married?!” We shrugged and said yes and left it at that. The kid seemed happy to know it was a possibility.
I’m glad that Lucy’s figured out on her own to stand up for herself and answer questions about her family as though she’s simply reporting on the weather and I hope she always feels that confident about her family.
make pancakes for our daughter
wake up our daughter
make lunch and pack it in our daughter’s lunch box/bag
remind our daughter to finish eating her breakfast
take a shower
look in mirror (sometimes I forget about this part)
remind our daughter to get dressed and stop reading books and playing with toys
brush our daughter’s hair and continue reminding her to get ready
point to the clock and say, “you only have 5 minutes left before we’re leaving for school!”
check email/facebook/twitter in those 5 minutes
walk daughter to school (unless my wife drops her off)
sometimes stay at her school for their “morning circle” of all the kids and teachers and staff
go to work via public transportation and/or walking
do work that makes money and pays taxes
txt my wife throughout the day
chat with my friends at the office
try not to forget to eat lunch
remember to return the library books
wonder what we can make for dinner and try to remember what’s in the fridge
do work that makes money and pays taxes
pickup daughter from school (unless my wife picks her up)
make dinner and cocktails
maybe, just maybe, get a chance to chat with my wife in between requests from our daughter
make a bath for our daughter and help her get ready for bed
catchup on email/facebook/twitter while she’s in the bath
fold laundry while she’s in the bath
read books to our daughter
my wife helps our daughter get to sleep at night
read a book, read various news sites, watch a movie, make food for the next day, make lists like this one
kiss my wife
(In previous post there’s the text of an email sent to me from a pastor of a church which references the church not affirming a “homosexual lifestyle”)
“I’m scared of something and I don’t know what I’m scared of and I’m scared of not knowing,” says Lucy, 5 1/2 years old.
When I was a kid I was afraid of the dark and afraid of whatever lived (according to my imagination) in the trees near our house.
I’m still afraid of the dark and also afraid of the political and environmental state of the world. Maybe that’s what Lucy doesn’t know yet.