(I didn’t get pics of all the couples at the weddings – oops!)
We went to 3 gorgeous weddings in the first week of September – all, I think, providing a nice example to Lucy of how, finally, at least here in California and in a couple handfuls of states and countries, everyone can marry the person s/he loves.
The first wedding that week was an Episcopal ceremony for Mark and JC. I realized later that while I’ve been to several gay/lesbian weddings or commitment ceremonies, I’d never been to a gay wedding in a church. We’d rushed to get dresssed and walk 3 blocks to the church after Lucy’s 4th birthday party that day — Lucy was pretty worn out from her party, and she watched videos on her iPod video while we sat in the back of the church. It was steeped in tradition and incense and song and prayer followed by a bright windy reception in the church’s garden. Congrats, Mark & JC!
Then, in the middle of the week, on a sunny morning, we dropped Lucy off at preschool and went to San Francisco City Hall for Annika & Will’s morning wedding under the rotunda (yes, even in the middle of gay/lesbian weddings, straight people can still get married!). It was downright hot outside city hall after the ceremony. We popped some champagne and got chased away (rather feebly) by a cop who chastened us (pour that out!). Then lunch to celebrate at Caffe Delle Stelle and a reception the next evening at the Townhouse Bar & Grill in Emeryville. We met Annika at Brooke’s birthday party in Tahoe in the last millenium and then gave her a ride home to Oakland and it took a memorable 9 hours for us to get down off the mountain – we became good friends while waiting out the snowstorm. She’s a hasbian now and Will is a fabulous match for her – congrats, Annika & Will!
Topping off the week was D’vora & Pat’s legal wedding (it still surprises and delights me that gays/lesbians can get legally married) in the redwoods up in Marin. We met D’vora & Pat through the daycare/preschool that Lucy’s been at for the past 3 1/2 years – and though they’ve left the city and left the preschool, I hope we keep in touch because they’re fun (we once camped out in their backyard!).
Lucy had a good time with some of her preschool friends – she and Leila had a gigglefest before the wedding ceremony and they all ran around and around and around all afternoon.
After all these weddings (with a couple more planned before the November election – including Moya & my legal wedding in October), we flew up to Oregon for my 20th high school reunion. I went to high school in a small pretty conservative town in Yamhill county. I was apprehensive about who I’d see and whether or how they’d respond to discovering that I’m gay. We accidentally stumbled into a wedding reception before we found the reunion (at a restaurant on a golf course outside of Portland).
Probably given the conservative nature of the town where I grew up, there was only one other classmate at the reunion who was gay/lesbian – not exactly ten percent – and I think he was equally nervous about attending.
My apprehension was well-founded — quite a few people were excited to see me and then literally ended their conversation with me after I pointed out or mentioned my wife Moya. More people, however, were unphased and it was revelatory, if a bit odd, to catch up briefly with people I haven’t seen in 20 years. It was odd because I’ll probably not see any of them again and the ‘catching up’ was rather impersonal and banal (where do you live, what do you do for work, do you have kids). I loved, however, seeing the people who I’m in touch with a few on FaceBook. I like having a present connection to people from grade school (Ami, Dale, Krista, Heidi), jr high, high school (Kim, Jeff, Bart, Ron, Troy, Ruth). I like having a long string from my childhood to now and FaceBook does exactly that.
Maybe more societal progress within the next 5-20 years will mean nobody will give me the cold shoulder at the next high school reunion.
