Moya and I were interviewed about marriage this morning by Melissa Block for a piece that will probably be broadcast tomorrow (Friday, June 13, 2008) on NPR’s All Things Considered afternoon news program. We were both pretty nervous and we both, I think, really did a fantastic job for our first radio interview. It made me feel giggly. Moya said she felt like she had a frog in her throat the entire time. We’re planning a wedding!
2004 at San Francisco City Hall:
2007 in Vancouver, BC;
Photo by Jane Eaton Hamilton
Greetings! I listened to this segment on NPR and was delighted to learn a little bit about your family, your excitement about California’s marriage ruling, and your commitment to one another. These are indeed exciting and historic times. So I hope you will forgive me for saying that I was disturbed by the suggestion that your Canadian wedding was merely “symbolic.” How can that be correct? Did I misunderstand something? If you took out a Canadian license and undertook the required Canadian formalities, you’re married. It is right and good to seek recognition of that marriage, which it appears that California is prepared to offer. In fact, if I understand correctly, you cannot obtain a new marriage license in California without terminating your existing marriage or repudiating its validity. Either approach is problematic, and arguably reflects a frivolous attitude about marriage equality. Let’s not reinforce the unhelpful idea that same-sex couples are seeking something different or less serious than the same rights and obligations conferred on others. Thank you, and please know that I wish you well.
thanks for your good wishes!
when we got married in canada in march 2007 and came back to california it felt merely symbolic because, at that time, california’s doma (“defense of marriage act”) was law and our canadian marriage was not recognized or legal where we lived. unfortunately that explanation of why it felt symbolic didn’t make it into the broadcast, and, yes, i agree with you, that the snippet in the broadcast might make it sound frivolous. it definitely wasn’t frivolous and felt amazing to be *in* canada and legally married — and then felt only sadly symbolic once we got home to san francisco.
here’s a useful answer for your question about obtaining a california marriage license now if you have a canadian marriage from a previous year (when marriage wasn’t legal in california):
http://debwald.blogspot.com/2008/06/this-weeks-million-dollar-marriage.html